When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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