What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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