This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
