somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
