Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
