Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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