i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
