Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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