look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
