playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
