Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
