So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
