I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
