His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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