you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
