some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I intend to get homeless drunk
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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