You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
