he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
