I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
