Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
