I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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