Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
