Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
