Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
