I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
