very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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