i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
