Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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