covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
