is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
