All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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