My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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