i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i dont even know how to be here
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I will be naked everywhere
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
