Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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