not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
