I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
