i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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