what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
