Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
