I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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