So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
