My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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