So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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