how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
