You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
