I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
