I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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