Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
