i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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