whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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