So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You left your phone here
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